A common issue that comes up in therapy is that there is no time to be a couple.
Some describe hectic work schedules. Others throw in the mix hours of childcare. Most describe complete exhaustion at the end of the day. When I ask what they do together as a couple, sometimes I get puzzled looks. The answers vary from “Everything” to “Nothing”.
As we know, time is relative and time is even more relative in couple and family life. Some couples work together. Others work at home together. Others do not see each other all week, because one person, or both, travel frequently.
Timewise, some couples place prime importance on work. Others on their children. Others on individual activities.
It is vital to know that there is no right or wrong and each couple needs to figure out what works for them.
That being said, I have noticed that time spent together as a couple is not a priority and sometimes misunderstood as just being in the same room together. Also, a lot of them have difficulty defining what they enjoy doing together.
Having a constant space, alone, to strengthen your bond as a couple and to connect is fundamental to the growth of the couple as a system. The characteristics of this space depend on the couple, their needs and preferences.
What defines your “couple’s time”? What do you do? Do you feel that you interact during that time? Do you do activities that both of you enjoy? How do you make sure that you have that time? Why is it so particularly difficult to make that time?